I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You've changed since you got that strap on
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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