My nipple is on Facebook.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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