I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
