Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
