Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
