I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
