are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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