I think I died a long time ago.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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