Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
