i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
