How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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