problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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