I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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