Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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