If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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