She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I cockslap morals
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
