last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
