Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
