i just wanna soil my oats bro
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
