Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Actions speak louder than pants.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
