Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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