I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
