im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
