At least make sure they are 18
Why
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
