how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
