I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
