Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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