I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
