I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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