I'm drive I can fine osifer
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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