I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
well you can't waste a boner
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
