Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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