So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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