The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
