Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
