Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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