I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
