Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think I sprained my soul last night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Let's get the cat blown out
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
