My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
