ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
