i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm at about main and main street
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
