I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
