I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
