Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
