No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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