i just wanna soil my oats bro
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
