my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
two words: eviction party
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
