I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
