Can i not drive my cunt home
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
