Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
