Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
